Certifiably Awkward
Hosted by Gabriela, Amy, and Lena, three friends bonded by cringe-worthy moments and embarrassing stories. When people kept saying, “You should do a podcast—I’d listen,” they decided to take the hint. So they grabbed some microphones and got to work.
Certifiably Awkward
Awkward Pilot
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Welcome to the very first episode of Certifiably Awkward! We're kicking things off by sharing the one word that best describes each of us -- and, of course, the hilarious stores that prove it.
Gabriela embraces being awkward, Lena owns her clumsy moments, and Amy proudly claims the title of right fighter. Between embarrassing memories, plenty of laughter, and friends giving each other a hard time, you'll quickly discover why people kept telling us, "You should start a podcast."
So grab a drink, get comfortable, and come laugh with us. We promise you're not the only one with awkward stories
P.S. Yes, we are aware there is static. No, we cannot fix it, but we think we have it figured out for next time. We'll do better. We promise.
Welcome to Certified Late Awkward. I'm Gabriella. This is Amy.
SPEAKER_00And I'm Lena. Okay. So what's this podcast about, Gabriella?
SPEAKER_03Funny enough, multiple people have come to me and said, hey, if you had a podcast, I'd listen. So here we are doing this podcast to see if people will listen.
SPEAKER_01I mean, if you put it out there, they will listen. But uh, how did Lena and I get involved in this? Because you're my friends.
SPEAKER_03Because we're the people you talk to? Yeah, we're the people that I talk to. And talk to me, I guess.
SPEAKER_00I was also one of the people that told you I'd listen to your podcast.
SPEAKER_01I roped you in. You didn't know she was gonna rope you into being on the podcast. I think the same thing. I I think you originally asked me to be a guest on your podcast that you'd be creating, and here I am. Yep.
SPEAKER_03I can't do it by myself. Nobody wants to hear me talk all the time.
SPEAKER_00Ugh. You're a guest, you're just a permanent one.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01I guess I can handle that. Yeah. So that means I take no ownership over any of this. I am simply a guest. Not so. No credit, no fault.
SPEAKER_00You're gonna start signing contracts now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly. Who's got the contract? Nobody.
SPEAKER_00That's why we're here.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, exactly. So if there was one word that would describe me, yes, awkward would be the word. Because I am just that girl. I've been that girl my whole life. In elementary school, I was the girl that the boys would be like, Oh my god, she's so ugly. If she looks at you, you turn to stone, and they would freeze. That did not happen to you, did it? It didn't, yeah. It did happen. But I was that girl, and so I just stare at them so they could have they wouldn't move their whole recess. Oh my goodness. You turned them to stone. Yeah, so like if I moved away, then they would like move, right? So I was that girl that just stared at them the whole time because it was so hurtful. Something stupid like that. But then you know, I'm also like, I was that girl in high school, like I was just not like I was clumsy, like I would run into things. I would but I'm also that person that shares these horrible awkward situations with everybody. I don't know why I feel the need to tell everybody my awkward stories, but I do. Maybe it's because I'd rather make fun of myself than some other people, and honestly, they are funny, they are really, really funny.
SPEAKER_01So I think they're funny and they also help everybody realize that you're human as we all are, so maybe your awkward stories make someone feel a little less awkward themselves.
SPEAKER_03I'm pretty sure that that is truly the case. They're like, I do not feel nearly as bad about myself because of her, because I am that awkward. I'll tell a story, okay, of how awkward it is. So Alina was um actually at the aftermath of this story. But one day um I was on my lunch break and I was driving to Safeway grocery store, and um I felt really cute that day. Have you ever had those days where you just felt really cute? Like my hair was good. It was a good hair day. I think it was a really good hair day. I love a good hair day. I thought I was like, I thought I looked really cute. Um, or just felt really good in my outfit that I was wearing and went in, got a salad or something, maybe some chicken strips, I don't even remember. It was just something quick, and I was coming back outside, and this guy is like, hey, and I'm all hey, no, you didn't. I did, and I was like, oh my god, he noticed how cute I was today. That's so cool. And then he was like, Come here, and I'm like, nah, it's alright. He's like, no, come here. I'm like, no, and he's like, I love you, and I was like, dude, push it way too far. Like, what the hell is wrong with you? Like, what is seriously wrong with you, right? So I'm I walk past him and I'm just giving him this look like God, dude. That's what's wrong with you? Like, I enjoy a good compliment, right? Like, hey, yeah, you notice I look cute, but thanks. Moving along. I get into my car and I'm looking over and I'm just kind of disgusted with it. And you know what? He was talking to his dog. Oh my god, no. Yes, I died laughing. I almost peeked my pants and I was laughing so hard because he kept on and was like, Come here, you're such a cutie. Come here, girl. And I was like, Oh my god, no. Yeah, it happened. It actually happened. What's he looking at you? Where was this dog? I don't Well, the dog was in the car, and he was outside of the car and he was talking to the car. But the way he was walking, the way I was walking, like it couldn't have been at me. But you know what's even funnier? Like, I like seriously, I thought I was gonna pee my pants driving out of drive pulling out of the car because I realized what had happened. I mean, I was crying, I was laughing so hard. But I really think that guy is still telling that story.
SPEAKER_01So he recognized that you were thinking he was talking to you.
SPEAKER_03I'm pretty sure he realized it because I the look that I gave him, because you all know I can't like keep a straight face. My subtitles on my face are just like very loud, right? So I'm sure I just gave him like this disgusted look of just gross. And he was like, What? So then he was like obviously really wanting to make known that he was talking to his dog and not me, but yeah, that did happen. Oh my god. That was me. I laughed all the way to work, and I think I was crying still when I told Lena the story. I was just dying laughing, so that happened. That is hilarious.
SPEAKER_01I can't even imagine.
SPEAKER_03I love that story.
SPEAKER_01First off, I mean, a guy in the parking lot says, I love you, and you just assume he's talking to you.
SPEAKER_03I mean He was looking at you.
SPEAKER_02He was looking at you in general direction.
SPEAKER_03Right, and he was just like, hey, and I'm all hey, you know, like what's up? And you were cute that day. I was.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's true. That's acceptable. That's acceptable.
SPEAKER_03But I will say, fast forward a few years, I was at Safely again. Oh my god. Maybe no more safe way. And I was walking to my car and I hear this, whatcha doing? Oh my god. Oh my god. And I didn't even look.
SPEAKER_02You didn't cut, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I didn't look.
SPEAKER_02I just guess talking to his dog.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. Didn't even look. And uh I'm not falling for the city. I'm doing that again. Not not gonna no. I learned my lesson. So I was getting into my car, and as I look back, I'm like, oh, I recognize that car. So it was an old friend of mine, and he was actually like, and I was like, oh hey! That was just his voice. That was just his voice. And um he's like, I'm really proud of you for not like acknowledging me, just some hootin', some random guy just hootin' hollering at you, and I was like, Yeah, if only you knew. If only you knew, if only you knew the backstory of why I just ignored you. Not everybody's talking to me. It was a it was a lesson hard learned. Yeah, so um I hope y'all enjoyed that laugh.
unknownOh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01Was this the safe way on Maine? Yes. Yeah, that explains more of it. Yeah. I mean, it's that's a very special safe way.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it's not like the best part of town, but it's not like horrible either. There's just a lot of characters.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, a lot of characters are. Yeah, it's just the area and the where the people are coming from and yeah, other characters in that area. It's not your typical suburban grocery store.
SPEAKER_03No, no, it's not.
SPEAKER_00Do you want to go next or do you want me to go next? I don't know. I I almost feel like I'm piggybacking off of you, but my word probably would be clumsy. Okay. Um if you're listening, you can't see it, but my knees will tell the story. Um, I've fallen so many times to the point where when I fell this time around, I texted my best friend a picture of it, and her response was, when are you going to stop being clumsy?
SPEAKER_01Well, it's a choice, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Right, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. Um, so that's my word. I mean, I could tell you a million different stories about it. Probably the most scarring of them all, not physically, but I have had very much physically, literally scarring stories. Um, when I was in like the fourth grade, I went on a field trip, and my parents were not the type of parents to like volunteer to be chaperones on field trips. This one, my mom chaperoned, so I was super excited. And then um, so it was lunchtime. We were all it was we were at some sort of like a sporting stadium, I guess. We were doing a tour, and so we were all eating lunch, gathered around, we were kind of in separate groups, and my friend and I were kind of pulling around. She had this hat on, and she put it on my head, and it happened to cover my eyes. And she was like, Oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna lead the way. So she takes my hand and she kind of starts walking me over, just like around the area. Um right by us was a little pond. Oh no, with a ledge right before it. I don't know what she was thinking, but she led me towards it. I obviously trip over the ledge, fall face first into the pond, and this is a field trip of several different grade levels all together in one completely wet. My mom's freaking out. The teachers don't know what's going on. I get sent home early. Oh no! And my mom feels really bad for me, so she takes me to a store to get some fresh clothes, and we go get a little treat. So it was better by the end of the day. The next day I'm at the playground playing with my friends, and some kid in like second grade comes up to me and he goes, Are you the person that fell in the pond yesterday? And that was the most embarrassing moment of my fourth grade career.
SPEAKER_01Did it end up any nicknames? Like, were you pond girl?
SPEAKER_00Not that I water girl, not that you were ever aware of. It it never reached my ears, but I'm sure people talked about it and made fun of me for it.
SPEAKER_01So I feel that you're that girl, just like me.
SPEAKER_00I was that girl. We are that girl.
SPEAKER_01So, with all the clumsiness, I mean, have you ever asked a doctor like is there something wrong with anything wrong with me? Is it the equilibrium in my mind, my ears? What is it? I'm curious.
SPEAKER_00But I mean, they say that if you're paying attention. Oh, I'm just a hundred percent not paying attention. Okay.
SPEAKER_03That's exactly what it means. Doctor Amy. I know, yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_00But they can say like if you work out more and you know your balance gets better and you won't fall as much. And so I've been doing yoga, I've been working out, and then I fell last week, so now it goes to show. They don't know what they're talking about.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, it's all the yoga in the world, you can do tree pose until the end of time, but not walking down the street, that's not gonna help you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So that's my story.
SPEAKER_03I love it. I love it. That's awesome. I think we feel I feel a kindred spirit. Maybe that's why you're that.
SPEAKER_01I feel a kindred spirit because I this is not clumsy, that's not the word I'm going to claim, but uh third grade playground, playing a game on recess called Boys Chase Girls because it was the 80s. And um, I'm running, right? And look back to see who's behind me, who's chasing me. It was Adam. Oh. And turned around, smacked right into the um bars, like one of the metal bar rainbow bars, you know, where you can do like um what are those called? Monkey bar takes. And I smacked right into it, busted my front tooth in half, my lip was all bloody. So, yeah, at age eight, I had to get a um porcelain tooth. And I remember my mom showed up to the nurse's room and like the nerve was still hanging from half of my tooth. And I was like playing with it with my tongue.
SPEAKER_02And my mom is literally having a panic attack in the in the school office about like, ah, you know, and uh, I'm just sitting there going, uh playing because it was just so weird, right? But yeah, terrible. I have had similar experience, but it wasn't on a field trip just every day at the playground.
SPEAKER_01On the playground. I have gone back and I did take my kids back to that playground to show them the dent in the pole that I caused. It was still there.
SPEAKER_04Oh wow.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think it's gone now since they rebuilt the school, but um, but yeah, it was there when my kids were little, so that was interesting. So funny. You know. You're a legacy. Legacy. Yeah, that's right, exactly. I mean, I didn't have anything else. That was it. I left a dent on the on the school playground. You left an impression. That I did.
SPEAKER_00Literally. I gotta start adding in the sound effects. Photo books. Yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_01So I don't, I've been thinking about this the whole time you guys have been talking, and I don't have a word to claim um to describe myself. I'm gonna turn it to you, Gabriella, since you've known me longer than anybody besides my very own family. Gabriella and I have been friends for our entire lives since you were.
SPEAKER_03Well, we grew up to yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03She was a neighbor across the street, so so what word would you describe?
SPEAKER_01Well, there's many words I would describe you as. Pick one and I'll maybe find a story.
SPEAKER_03I think um Amy's a really funny and uh very um loyal and all those great words, which is amazing. We're not looking for a great word. I don't give me a lot of it.
SPEAKER_00I feel like there's a hawker coming.
SPEAKER_03There's a button there somewhere. But she is a right fighter. She is a no-wrongdoer. She is, and I can remember a story, um, several. One of them, uh which made me get into trouble. Like we all skipped class, except for this one. Oh. So those that didn't skip got all referrals, but she she was the right fighter. She was gonna do no wrong. So she stayed in the class. There was also the time I wasn't I wasn't there, but I heard you guys you had just gotten the license and you were driving your mom's minivan. I think Rebecca was in the car.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, yes. So that story. Oh my god, yeah. I was 16. I was at a friend's birthday party. It was Nicole's birthday party, and um we I was driving my mom's Dodge caravan maroon with the wood paneling down the side. Oh total, you know, like a really awesome car. Um, probably like a 1988 or something. And we went to this place we had no business going to as 16-year-olds. I don't it was like a pool hall or something. Oh again, I wasn't there, but um, and we were pulling out after we left. We went in and we left, and we were pulling out, and I bumped the car next to me as I was pulling out, because again, I was 16. And um, I got out, checked, there was no damage to the car whatsoever. So I was like, okay, we'll just leave, right? Um we go back to Nicole's house. It was the middle of the night, I think, and uh Nicole's dad comes and wakes us up, and the police had shown up at my parents' house. My parents love to tell this story. How their daughter who could do no wrong, they were woke up by police. So I had to go home and I was interviewed by the police, and basically they were threatening me with like hit and run and leaving the scene of an accident and like all this stuff for a car that had no damage. And I couldn't for the life of me figure out like they knew it was me. They like if they looked at my parents' car, it wouldn't be under my name. So, but they knew they when they came to the house, they were specifically looking for me. So somebody at that place told them it was me. So I don't know. I just thought that was kind of that was mortifying and ever since then. I never did any more wrong. That was the one time that she did something. It was like the one time I chose to do something and and I got cut. Yeah. So I don't yeah.
SPEAKER_03She's is she's a right fighter. She's always in the right lane, which I love about her.
SPEAKER_01Well, I wouldn't say always. I mean, like, there's there's certain rules I break, but like anything that yeah, I just couldn't I always was like, I did what was expected of me.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I wasn't gonna I wasn't gonna upset the balance at home.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I again I think you kind of do it now. Like I feel like Oh, I do to some. Sure. Okay, for sure I do. Which which I've always I'm like, live life!
SPEAKER_01No. Well, it was just like when we were talking about earlier. Come on, we're going to Vegas in a couple months, and you're like, Wild side! I know, I'm so excited to see that. I don't know. I don't know that there's gonna be a wild Amy. I'll try. We'll have a little bit. She'll laugh a little bit. I'll try. I don't know. I don't know what that is. I probably need to go to therapy over all that.
SPEAKER_03But that's I think it's my because I mean she's snarky. I love that about her.
SPEAKER_01I am snarky, and I am not one of those law and order type people where like I follow the rules just to follow the rules. No, she's not don't do that. No, she's not like I'm a jaywalker all the way.
SPEAKER_03She will cross the screen. I will run a yellow light. She will she'll go five over.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_02Okay, maybe even ten on the freeway, okay?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but she's snarky, and I love that about her. She's like, she has these like little snide remarks, and which I love. Oh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but not like only the remarks that certain people would get. Maybe. Yeah, like yeah, I probably wouldn't say a snide remark to someone that would actually take it and hurt their feelings.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00I wish I was quick with my comeback.
SPEAKER_01Your comebacks, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I just it comes to me way later and it's too late for me. I should have said that. Yeah. It's just not like I the other week, I think I told you, um, a guy told me, smile.
SPEAKER_04Hey, smile.
SPEAKER_00I looked at him and I went, I'm gonna fight you.
SPEAKER_02That was your response. I'm gonna fight you.
SPEAKER_00In that exact I'm gonna fight you.
SPEAKER_02What was his response to that? I'm curious.
SPEAKER_00What if he went? You're gonna fight me? Yeah, I'm gonna fight me. Fight you.
SPEAKER_01Was this someone where was this? Like, what was this? This is at work. This is at work, of course. It's a coworker, yeah.
SPEAKER_03It wasn't a client.
SPEAKER_00No, yeah, it wasn't somebody.
SPEAKER_01But a coworker telling you. It's just like when people tell you to calm down.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Thanks. That's helpful.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I didn't know.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay, okay. I'll just take it down ten minutes.
SPEAKER_03You're so right.
SPEAKER_01Maybe, I don't know. Maybe you were smiling. It's none of his damn business what your smile looks like.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I was like, don't tell me what to do. Which probably would have been a better response than I'll bite you.
SPEAKER_02That's okay because he's probably telling that story to people now. Just like Gabriela's dog, the guy who loves his dog, is telling that story.
SPEAKER_03You know, I think he cracks up every time he says it. I can only imagine him going home because I came home after a day of work laughing for the rest of the day. Because I couldn't believe that it happened. And I went and told my husband, and I was crying laughing when I told him the story. So I can only imagine, like he comes home to his wife and was like, um, the weirdest thing happened today. I was talking to the dog. This lady thought I was talking to her, and the look that she gave me was like she was gonna kill me or something, but I was really just talking to the dog. What would you have done? What could I have done differently? Oh, I can only imagine what that conversation went like.
SPEAKER_01Well, and the guy, Lena's, he's gonna go home and say, I got a girl to try and fight me today.
SPEAKER_00Exactly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh, goodness.
SPEAKER_00Let's not do that anymore. Don't tell people to smile.
SPEAKER_01No, people will smile when they want to smile. Don't do that. Or I don't know, do something funny or say something that would make them smile. Don't tell them to smile. Unless you work for JCPenney and you're a photographer, then you can say smile. But other than that, that's not acceptable.
SPEAKER_03That's a very good point. Maybe question it. Smile?
SPEAKER_04Question mark?
SPEAKER_03Hashtag smile? I don't know. We have so much to talk about.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I'm sure I'll have some stories after this week. Yes, you will.
SPEAKER_01Your speed dating and your mingle event. I'm excited for the mingle event. I can't wait to hear about it. Because that's more of like a just like you're there with a friend and you're just like hanging out. Almost kind of like it's attempting to recreate an actual bar where people talk and don't have their phones. Right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's like pretend you're in the 90s. You don't have phones.
SPEAKER_03What was that accent? I don't know. Goodbye.
SPEAKER_02You don't have phones. Cheerio. Put your phone away. In the 90s. In the 90s. Back in the 1900s.
SPEAKER_03Go get the car from the garage. It needs petrol. So you're going on Friday? This Friday? Thursday. Where are you going? Where am I going?
SPEAKER_00To the Thorns game? Oh, this tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. When? And then Thursday is a speed date? No, this Saturday is a speed date. Oh. It's on the weekend.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, my last one was on a Sunday. I've never had one on a Saturday though. The Sunday at 3 30 was nice. These weeknight ones are hard.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, I don't I don't go out on school nights.
SPEAKER_03They just come to you.
SPEAKER_00She's coming out tomorrow night. Oh, sure. I am going to the Toronto game tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. We'll see how that goes. My expectation is that I'll go there, I'll get a drink, I'll hang out, and then I'll come back home.
SPEAKER_03You need to force yourself to talk to people.
SPEAKER_00But I'm scared. You know what?
SPEAKER_03You'll never see those people again, most likely.
SPEAKER_00Well, my friend and I were talking about how we need to start making eye contact with people.
SPEAKER_01This is the shit that we should be recording, by the way.
SPEAKER_00It's recording. I stopped it briefly and I was like, I think I'm gonna start a fast house.
SPEAKER_01Alright, your friend, you were your friend was saying you need to make eye contact.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she was like, I think we need to start making more eye contact. But then I was like, yeah, but then I'm thinking about making the eye contact. So then that makes it awkward. Yeah. So I don't I don't know where to look. Do I look them in the eyes? Do I look at their nose? Do I look at the eye? How long? And how long do you hold that eye contact? Yeah. Like how if I I feel like if it's even just a millisecond too long, I'm just creepy.
SPEAKER_01Well, think about it in reverse. Like if you caught a guy's making like looking at you, how long until you would think it was creepy? Would you smile at him? It wouldn't matter. Raise an eyebrow? I'd probably raise an eyebrow.
SPEAKER_00I wouldn't know how long he's staring at me because the moment we meet eyes on him, like see if she's like, I don't.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's a surefire way to tell someone you are not interested. Exactly.
SPEAKER_03So I would be like, oh my gosh, my glass is empty. Find me a drink.
SPEAKER_01But if it's across the room, you could just smile or um See, I thought about that. Just smile and then smile for like a moment, keep the eye contact for a moment, and then turn to your friends.
SPEAKER_03You like look at him and go and take a drink, and then you can go back to your friend. Look.
SPEAKER_00That makes me so anxious.
SPEAKER_03No. Okay, I haven't flirted in like 30 some years, but I feel like. You flirted. Just because you're married doesn't mean you don't flirt. With intention?
SPEAKER_01Oh, listen to her. She makes me with intention. She said I'm natural. I would never do that to my husband.
SPEAKER_03Like, truly, like, I wouldn't.
SPEAKER_01That's admirable. I like that.
SPEAKER_03I'm not sure I understand that much.
SPEAKER_01I'm just saying maybe I didn't have that boundary.
SPEAKER_03It's not about you. It's always about me. I'm the main character in my own story. That you are. I don't know. So that's my struggle. You'll be good. And just if anything else, just pretend you're Amy and I.
SPEAKER_02I don't know why you'd ever want to pretend you're me.
SPEAKER_03Because you are like really good with like people skills and eye contact and.
SPEAKER_01Okay, if I'm really good at flirting in people skills and eye contact, then why do I not get matches at these beginning? So don't she doesn't want to channel me.
SPEAKER_02That obviously is not working. Also, if I channel you, then I'll get swingers. Right, exactly. You channel girl, and then she's what? All of a sudden you've got men and women that can come home with us.
SPEAKER_03So you get matches.
SPEAKER_02You cannot be picky here.
SPEAKER_03And be choosers. Like, stop.
SPEAKER_01Do you want to match or don't you? She's like, I don't. I don't want to match.
SPEAKER_03But I think I don't know what to do with a match. I do think that Amy has like, I don't know why you guys aren't like matching with you at all. I don't understand it. Truly, I don't. Because I do think she's like very personable. She's a lot of fun. I laugh all the time with her. Like, who wouldn't want to be surrounded by that? Right. Like, I just don't I don't know what to do.
SPEAKER_01That's what I don't understand. I had a um, I'm gonna use the term brand in quotes here, but um asked me because I was I was frustrated. It's like, okay, so you spend 10 minutes with each of these people, right? And I'm like, from my point of view, the conversation's great, right? Like, well, sometimes. But uh, sometimes I can't save it. Right. Let's be honest. But you know, there's great interaction, there's laughter, you know, get getting to know each other. Um, and he says to me, Well, um, you know, have you thought about changing up your tactic at these things? And I was like, I don't, I don't really know how I would change my tactic, I'm just myself, right? And uh, and and I said, and from my point of view, the conversation's pretty good. I'm usually a pretty good judge of that, right? And he's like, Well, from your point of view, but that doesn't mean they're enjoying the conversation. And I took offense to that because like I like I can't tell when someone's not enjoying a conversation. Like I I think as women we're pretty keyed into to knowing how a conversation is going. And I I really, I mean, I I held back because, you know, like you said, I don't hurt people's feelings. But uh, I wanted to say something to the effect of I'm not an arrogant man who only talks about himself and doesn't realize that the other person is not engaged in the conversation. Because that has happened to me so many times at these things. You know, ten minutes goes by and they haven't asked me a single question.
SPEAKER_03Well, also when you get the feedback from them, all of them say that you're funny, that you're easy to talk to, that all those good things, they all say them.
SPEAKER_01There's never one that says But that's not what they're looking for. So that's what I would like to know is what is what are men looking for? If they're not looking for kind, genuine, easy to talk to, funny, confident, I don't know. What are they looking for? Easy? I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I mean if that's it, I mean I'm not saying I'm not. I'm just saying you can't tell that from that 10 minutes. I mean, didn't you didn't get that during that 10-minute conversation? How would you know?
SPEAKER_03Because you're not wearing a miniskirt. That's true.
SPEAKER_01I I definitely am not ever wearing a miniskirt in my life.
SPEAKER_00I'm scared.
SPEAKER_01Don't be scared, Lima.
SPEAKER_00What do you like? Do they give you prompts to talk about?
SPEAKER_01They do, and it's been about 50-50 on whether or not we use the prompts. I typically don't because I'm able to just engage in conversation, but some of the guys really like to use the prompts. And it's, you know, random questions, just like icebreakers at like office meetings, you know? Yeah. Um, it'll come up on your phone and it'll say, talk about, you know, a time when you We're clumsy. We're clumsy. Yeah. I mean, that would be easy for you to talk about. Um what would you tell your younger self if you could be able to do that? Oh my god, those are bad questions. Like, I would die if I had if someone asked me. What are your favorite outdoor activities? I mean, things like that, you know. I hide inside. Um allergic to the song. You can't say that at a dating event in the Pacific Northwest, Lena. Don't say that. You don't say that you don't go outside. Well, she loves the outdoors. I know, I know.
SPEAKER_03I like the outdoors. Let's not get ahead of us. Let's not bring love into this, okay? I mean, she goes skiing, you do hikes, you like to go. I do hike. That's right, she chased that one waterfowl.
SPEAKER_00Let's not put an S at the end. Not plural. Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01You hurl yourself down a mountain on s on sticks, skis?
SPEAKER_00Uh, single stick snowboard. Oh. Snowboard. Okay.
SPEAKER_01That's better. I will say. I don't do either, but. Guys like that.
SPEAKER_00I don't love guys that like that.
SPEAKER_02So you're like, I would rather go out with the guy who doesn't do those things.
SPEAKER_00Well, I would like to go out with a guy who likes to do it, but doesn't look like he likes to do it.
SPEAKER_01Right, but that's not his whole personality.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you know, the the types of guys that really look like they like to do it look like my ex.
SPEAKER_01So you're trying to go the opposite direction here. I gotcha.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Opposite of the ex. Okay, so at the mingling event tomorrow. Yeah. That's what you need to do. Make eye contact with someone that looks the opposite of your ex. That's your challenge for the week. That, and you're gonna get at least one match.
SPEAKER_00It should be pretty easy to do out here because there's a not a lot of brown people out here. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you're right. I don't know. I've found a few.
SPEAKER_03Hashtag truth. Everything you said is true. Both of you, what you've said is true.
SPEAKER_02Two things can be two things can be true at the same time. Right. Right? That is very true. There's not a lot, but yet I found some. Yep, yeah. Yeah. I found a few. We found a few.
SPEAKER_03I always so back in the day when I dated 30 years ago, and I think it would still ring true today, just because I love dad jokes, I would ask if they have a dad joke.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I thought you were gonna tell me to go loaded with dad jokes.
SPEAKER_03I I love dad jokes. I think they're like the best thing ever. What's your best dad joke? Yeah. So if they have like if you have a dad joke, I'd love to hear it. Because I love to laugh. And because guys, in my experience, love to make girls laugh. So if they have a good one and it makes you laugh, then they already feel very confident.
SPEAKER_01First question Do dad jokes make you laugh?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I love dad jokes.
SPEAKER_00Okay, good.
SPEAKER_01I think that's a great icebreaker.
SPEAKER_00Lucky for men, I'm a nervous laugher. So she's gonna laugh no matter what. I'm gonna be like, she's gonna be in her mind thinking this is the worst date ever, and she's still laughing.
SPEAKER_03I have noticed that guys love when they make girls laugh. It makes them feel like useful. Well, I think like kind of like they feel connected to you more than just like being it's like their way of being vulnerable, but without being vulnerable. Does that make sense? They feel that way, anyway. So if you can get a guy to crack a joke or to make them feel safe, like oh, they laugh at my jokes, and they, you know, they kind of feel like they're more in tune with you, but that's just my experience. But that was like 30 years ago. Like guys are different today, so I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I don't think they've changed that much.
SPEAKER_03No?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_03You don't like dad jokes.
SPEAKER_01I don't. You don't like dad jokes? I don't dislike them, but they don't make me laugh. There's a difference. Like I think they're cute, and I can get the pun, but they don't ever make me laugh.
SPEAKER_00I like when I make dad jokes. I think I'm funny. Me too, I think I'm funny.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. See? You guys are so funny. I think you're both funny too. Me too, I think I'm funny! No, I don't. I don't think I'm funny.
SPEAKER_03We think you're funny for you. Okay, good, good, good.
SPEAKER_02Glad. Glad to hear it.
SPEAKER_03My dad used to say Joey. And it's so stupid. It was, it cracked me up every time though he said he's like, Did you hear about the stick-up on the bridge?
SPEAKER_01No, I didn't.
SPEAKER_03Some kid threw it up there. It cracks me up. Like a stick-up. Some kid threw a stick-up on the bridge.
SPEAKER_01See, and I'm like, that is not funny. I'm glad that you have fond memories of your dad about that, but I'm like, I crack up every time.
SPEAKER_03She got it. She's still laughing. She is still laughing.
SPEAKER_01It's funny. So yes, that is that is a great, I think that's great advice actually for these equals.
SPEAKER_03Oh, thank you.
SPEAKER_01I don't think it would work for me at a speed digital. No, I don't think none of them would make me laugh, but I think that's good. You're gonna come home with some great stories.
SPEAKER_03Please share though.
SPEAKER_01Stories and dad jokes, yeah. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to our awkward stories. We'll see you next time.
SPEAKER_03Bye! Bye!
